The Constant 'Kaba'? A Compassionate Filipino's Guide to Understanding Anxiety
Saya Team
Mental Health Team
In this Article
Does your heart race before a family gathering? Do you lie awake replaying conversations, worried you caused 'hiya' (shame)? In a culture where we're expected to be resilient and just 'get on with it,' admitting these feelings is tough. That constant 'kaba' (pounding heart), the endless 'what if' thoughts—that's anxiety. It's a normal human feeling, but when it becomes too loud, it can feel like it's running your life. Let's gently explore this together and find a path back to your peace.
What is Anxiety? Your Body's Overworked Alarm System
Think of anxiety as your body's personal alarm, designed to protect you. But sometimes, that alarm gets stuck in the 'on' position, ringing even when there's no real danger. It's not just being 'nerbyos' or 'praning.' It's a real, physical response that has become overwhelming. It is not a character flaw, a sign of weakness, or 'kulang sa dasal' (lack of prayer). Understanding this is the first kind step you can take for yourself.
How Anxiety Shows Up: Does This Feel Familiar?
Anxiety isn't just in your head; your body keeps the score. We might be told to 'just be strong' or 'wag masyadong isipin' (don't think about it too much), but these are real signals from your body asking for care. See if any of these resonate. There is no judgment here.
- How you might feel: Constantly tense or on edge ('nerbyos'), a sense of looming dread, irritable, or like your mind has too many tabs open and none will close.
- How you might think: Always anticipating the worst-case scenario, replaying interactions endlessly, or finding it impossible to focus.
- What your body might feel: A pounding heart ('kaba'), shortness of breath, a tight chest, trembling, or an upset stomach ('sinisikmura'). It is physically draining.
If this feels like your experience, our free anxiety assessment is a private space to explore these feelings further.
Understanding Your Triggers: Why Do I Feel This Way?
There's no single cause for anxiety, and it's never your fault. It often grows from a mix of your biology, life experiences, and the unique pressures of our environment. Here, that could mean the pressure to be a successful 'anak' (child), the financial stress of providing for family (especially for OFWs), or the unspoken weight of 'utang na loob' that makes setting boundaries feel impossible. The goal isn't to blame, but to understand with compassion.
How Therapy Helps: A Safe Space to Just Be
Therapy isn't about being 'fixed' because you aren't broken. It's about having a supportive partner who understands the Filipino context. It's a confidential space where you don't need to perform 'pakikisama.' You can be your true, unfiltered self without worrying, 'Anong sasabihin ng iba?' (What will other people say?). A kind, skilled therapist can help you:
- Gently untangle anxious thoughts: Learn to observe your 'what ifs' without letting them run the show.
- Build your 'pampakalma' toolkit: Discover practical, calming strategies that feel right for *you*.
- Build confidence: Slowly and safely face situations you've been avoiding, with a guide who has your back.
Our Filipino therapists specialize in creating this safe, non-judgmental space.
Pag-aalaga sa Sarili: Gentle Ways to Soothe Your Mind
When you're anxious, 'self-care' can feel like another pressure. In a culture where we often put others first, it can feel selfish. It's not. It's about refilling your cup. Please be gentle with yourself. These are just small invitations.
- The Grounding Rule: When a wave of anxiety hits, gently name 3 things you see, 3 sounds you hear, and move 3 parts of your body. This brings you back from the storm in your mind to the safety of the present moment.
- Calm Breathing: Inhale for a count of 4, hold gently, and exhale slowly for a count of 6. This simple act sends a signal to your body that it's safe to relax.
- 'Worry Time': Schedule 10-15 minutes a day to let your worries run free. When a worry pops up outside this time, gently tell it, "I see you. I'll give you my full attention later during our time." This helps contain it.
- Connect, Don't Pretend: A simple 'kumusta ka na?' to a trusted friend. You don't have to spill everything. In our culture that values connection, even a small, honest reach-out can dissolve the loneliness that anxiety brings.
You Deserve to Feel at Peace in Your Own Mind
Living with anxiety is exhausting, but your journey to calm doesn't have to be walked alone. Reaching out is not a weakness; it is an act of incredible strength and self-compassion. At Saya, we're here to help you find your peace, one gentle step at a time.
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